


We're Not the Men in Black

by sadietheauthor



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/F, F/M, Kinda, M/M, Mafia AU, Multi, more like 'secret government agency' au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-27
Updated: 2015-03-27
Packaged: 2018-03-19 20:43:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3623664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sadietheauthor/pseuds/sadietheauthor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eren and Mikasa are the best in their field, acting as bodyguards-for-hire for wealthy politicians and their families.  When an attempt is made to attack and kidnap Historia Reiss, they catch the guy and send him to Levi.  When his 'interrogation techniques' fail to get the results they need, he sends Eren, Mikasa, and Armin undercover to protect Historia, and to maybe find out who wants to capture her, and why.</p>
            </blockquote>





	We're Not the Men in Black

Their cover was simple; two ordinary teens, brother and sister, lost on a museum tour. No one knew they were tailing the daughter of an important political figure, or that they were armed to the teeth to protect her.  
Eren held close to Mikasa’s side, nervous. It was his first mission in six months, and he’d royally screwed up the last one, his protectee ending up with nearly half his face burned off in an assassination attempt.  
Mikasa, of course, was cool and calm, pretending to look at the art and artifacts, but her eyes constantly trained on the small blonde girl just far enough away for them to be discreet, but to leap into action should it be required.  
Occasionally she would grab Eren’s hand, giving it just the tiniest of squeezes, and letting it drop. She didn’t want to coddle him too much, but in their line of work confidence was a necessary attribute to have. Without it, failure was almost guaranteed.  
Eren’s hair had been lightened just a bit, closer to dirty blonde than his usual brown, and he was wearing contacts to turn his irises dark brown.  
Mikasa had on a bright pink beanie covering her hair, and was wearing her scarf as a belt, since she hadn’t wanted to take it off.  
A suspicious figure caught the corner of Eren’s vision, and he got Mikasa’s attention with a quick tap on the inside of her elbow.  
They moved quickly but carefully, Mikasa pretending to pull Eren towards a display between the girl they were tailing and the suspicious man.  
The girl, a young teenager with blonde hair pulled into a low ponytail, petit and smiling brightly, was admiring a piece of pottery in a glass case, reading the label aloud to a disinterested bodyguard. There were two of them, and neither was paying attention to their charge or to their surroundings, leaving huge holes in their security. All in all, Eren thought, they should be thankful that him and Mikasa were there to keep the girl safe.  
The man’s hand went to his coat pocket, pulling out a knife in what was supposed to be an inconspicuous manner. He was tall and wide, with a shaved head and short-clipped beard, and walked with a slight limp favoring his left leg.  
After several tense seconds, he leaped towards the girl, taking advantage of the guard’s distraction and attempting to grab the small blonde teenager.  
Unfortunately for the would-be assassin, or kidnapper, Eren was on his best that day, and Mikasa was never anything else.  
In less than a quarter of a second, Mikasa had disarmed the man, twisting his arm back behind him, and Eren had his gun out, pointed in between the man’s eyes.  
“No sudden moves. You try and escape, and Rogue here-“ he gestured towards his gun- “will give you a third eye.”  
The man stopped fighting against Mikasa, and the two siblings got him cuffed, leading him out to a waiting car.  
“Seems we got ourselves a bite today!” Hanji giggled from the driver’s seat. “Just put him in the back, I’ll take him to the interrogation center while you two go make sure that Reiss girl is still safe. Actually, never mind. Eren, you can comfort her, since Mikasa sure won’t.”  
Mikasa shrugged her shoulders. “I’ve never been an emotional person, you know that, Hanji.”  
Mikasa, in the end, decided to watch the criminal with Hanji as opposed to joining her adoptive brother. Eren went up to comfort the girl, and to check for any lingering threats, considering that a truly dedicated organization would send in a fall guy before letting their big guns have a go at completing the mission.  
Apparently they weren’t that dedicated, because no one else attacked while Eren was there, and they led the girl to the protected car that her father had sent without a hiccup. She thanked him, sweetly smiling and giving him a kiss on the cheek, and ducked into the back of the car.  
Eren gave the car a quick inspection, noting the bulletproof glass, self-inflating tires, tinted windows, and reinforced steel bottom. It was disguised as a dark blue smart car, so as not to arouse suspicion or too much attention. The bodyguards tried to both sit in the front, with the girl in the back, and Eren had to yell at them, since that would leave her undefended. He pondered telling the girl’s father; perhaps he would hire more attentive guards.  
He walked back to his own ride, sitting up front by Hanji while Mikasa stayed in the backseat to terrify their captured kidnapper and/or assassin.

”So, Mr. Whatever your name is, I don’t really care,” Hanji started cheerily, “Where you hired to kill the young Miss Reiss, or merely take her away to get her papa to give you lots of money?”  
After a few moments of silence, and an obvious prodding by Mikasa, he finally replied.  
“Kidnap.”  
“Ah. So, does your boss just want money, or is there another hidden motive? Eh? You can tell me, I’m great at keeping secrets!” Hanji lied.  
“At any rate, you might want to tell me now, because my boss is going to get any answer from you he wants. He’s great with a pair of pliers and some gardening sheers.”  
The criminal in the backseat went white at that, but remained steadily quiet.  
“Your loss,” Hanji muttered, making a risky turn into the parking lot of a very large brick building, nearly running onto a curb as they pulled up to the door that was affectionately called ‘the daycare’. It was the drop-off area for captured crooks.  
Hanji took the would-be kidnapper, telling Mikasa and Eren to go fill out some paperwork and get some lunch, before they skipped off through the wide double doors with the guy in tow. Eren and Mikasa slipped inside via a smaller door off to the side.  
“Any chance Levi’s already waiting in the interrogation room?” Eren asked, not particularly up for a meeting with his boss quite so soon after a mission. He was also secretly hoping he would have time to run off the adrenaline before the paperwork absolutely had to be done, and Levi would make then do it immediately.  
“Maybe, if the Reiss family is paying him as much as I think they are.”  
Mikasa had already torn the beanie off and stuffed it into Eren’s back pocket. It was Armin’s, and Eren was more likely to remember to give it back.  
A quick elevator ride later, they were in the living corridor, pushing open the door to their shared little apartment. It was empty, which meant that Levi was in the interrogation room already, probably pulling out that guy’s fingernails.  
Eren went immediately for the shower to rinse out the gunk in his hair, restoring it to its normal medium brown with a little bit of shampoo, before popping out the contacts, flinching as his nail grazed his iris.  
There were voices in the living room, and Eren sent a quick prayer up to no one in particular that it was Armin and Mikasa, since he might be able to convince Armin to do the paperwork for him, instead of Levi, who would toss the forms at him along with a pen, and he’d be there for about two hours.  
He opened the door quietly, peeking out carefully.  
Dammit.  
“Hey boss, I thought you were taking care of that criminal guy,” Eren said, slowly inching towards the bedroom door, in case he could escape when Levi wasn’t paying attention.  
“Not until that idiot pays what he promised. If he wanted to be an asshole, he should have done that before we saved his fuckin’ daughter’s life. You finish that paperwork quick, and then I can toss it at that fucker’s head until he gives us what he promised.”  
Double dammit.  
“Kay, I can do that,” Eren sighed, sitting down at the tiny kitchen table next to Mikasa, picking up a pen.  
Who knew being part of a secret government-funded organization would involve so much potential carpal tunnel?  
Fourty-five minutes later, hand cramped thoroughly, Eren finally finished, setting the pen down and planting his face onto the table.  
Levi affectionately smacked the back of Eren’s head before grabbing the paper away, the tiny smirk turning up a single corner of his mouth.  
Mikasa had finished twenty minutes before, and was in the little kitchenette, scrambling a dozen eggs, since she was in a weird mood and had been eating nothing but eggs for the last few days.  
Armin was still missing, probably kicking Jean’s ass at poker, since it was his day off.  
Levi left a folder on the table for them to read later, for their next mission, and left after smacking Eren’s head again, and patting Mikasa’s shoulder as he passed.  
Reading the file, Eren nearly fell out of his chair with a short laugh.  
“He crossed out Reiss’ first name and just wrote ‘asshole’ in place of it.” He told Mikasa. A small part of her mouth twitched, which was like busting a gut laughing for her, so Eren grinned and went back to examining the file.

**Author's Note:**

> Iiii hope i didn't mess up the characterization. I tried, at the very least. (I do headcanon Mikasa as a bit autistic, and that might have shown up a bit.) Historia's name isn't mentioned because Eren forgot it. Dammit Eren. The relationships aren't mentioned in this chapter, but Levi, Eren, and Mikasa are romantically involved. (Romantically but not sexually. Eren and Mikasa are over eighteen, but Levi still doesn't want to chance even possibly taking advantage of them.)  
> Armin is the best at card games. This is just a headcanon, but i will stand by it.


End file.
